Earlier this month we celebrated our 34th wedding anniversary! We have to admit that there were days early in our marriage that neither one of us thought we would make it this far.

We are shaped by our environments. My career centers on the tech sector and higher-education. Both worlds can be very performance-driven; the tech sector with its focus on company valuation, innovation and financial performance and higher-education with its focus on research, publications and teacher evaluations.

One Bible verse that has been helpful to me, especially when I feel as though I am being tested or under fire is Job 23:10, “But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold”.

When we started our ministry to couples raising a child with special needs, our desire was to share truths or helpful ideas that we wished someone had shared with us when we were new to parenting.

Facebook, I think, has changed how we live and think about ourselves. I love that I have been able to reconnect with old friends on FB and find out what is going on in their lives; but I hate the fact that looking at Facebook can also make us feel worse about our lives.

Recently, Brian and I have been going through a difficult patch. Not uncommon in most marriages and not challenging our commitment to each other, but difficult nonetheless. Our differences in style and time management and personality traits (which has existed for 30+ years), now just seems to be a source of irritation. We’ve tried to talk through some of these issues, but haven’t been able (yet) to come to a “convergence of the minds”.

I remember the day my husband and I sat in the doctor’s office in Washington DC’s Children’s Hospital and received the news that the concerns we had over Mary’s lack of development were indeed due to brain damage.

We’ve all heard that song and possibly, it is the most wonderful time of the year. It also is perhaps the most stressful time of the year for families who have a child with special needs.

One of our kids (not sure which one) used to have a t-shirt that said “Believe there is Good in the World”! I think it is important to both the world and to believe there is good in BE the good in the world.

Often our blogs are about the unique challenges we face as parents of children with special needs. Although we acknowledge that there are indeed multiple challenges in raising our children, we also know that our lives have been forever changed, in a good way, – because of Mary.

We haven’t written our blog in the last few weeks as we were in China. We toured the country and visited our daughter, Emily, who lives and works in China. No matter how often we have said the words “our daughter lives and works in China” (and she has been there 3 years!), it is still hard to believe.

Happy Mother’s Day! It has been a rough year for most of the mom’s who are raising a child with Special Needs. I “tip my hat” to you and hope you feel honored–especially on this day.

Happy New Year! Can you believe that it is the year 2020? With a year named 2020, perhaps our New Year’s resolutions should be something like, “to have a clear vision, improved insight or balance in my life”.

“Lord, I can’t do this!”. I don’t know how many times I have stood in my kitchen (or bedroom, or wherever) and have uttered these words. Perhaps it was when Mary had a meltdown in public or I had to clean up a mess she had made or when someone said something hurtful or dismissive to her.

Recently, Brian sent me this cartoon. We both found it funny — probably because it hit a little too close to home. Why is it so hard for both of us to say “I was wrong?” More importantly, why is it so necessary to say it when you have done or said something that is wrong?

Often when we give our marriage seminars, someone asks a question about siblings: “Would they be resentful of all of the extra time we devote to our child with special needs?

Last week we wrote about the impact that having a sibling with special needs (SSN) has on our typically developing (TD)children. 

Sibling relationships are, well, complex.  Our siblings can be our best friends, confidants, rivals or pain in the necks and often all at once. 

When we were first married, a pastor told us to “Try to See our Differences as God’s provision for balance in our marriage.

One Bible verse that has been helpful to me, especially when I feel as though I am being tested or under fire is Job 23:10,