Happy Valentine’s Day! You can’t have a Marriage Blog and not have an entry regarding Valentine’s Day – the day set aside to celebrate romantic love! Advertisers and retailers would like you to believe that Valentine’s Day has to do with gifts of chocolate, jewelry, flowers and lingerie. Networks are busy flooding the airways with saccharine sweet love stories. And while all of this is a great way to celebrate Valentine’s Day, we all know that it takes more than gifts and romance to make love last. But what does it take to make a love last? What enables a marriage to thrive and succeed? What is the key to help couples “go the distance”?
Well, we asked this question to several of our friends; many who have been married 30, 40 even 50 years. Interestingly, we got a lot of different answers, not opposing answers, but a clearly defined “formula” did not emerge. “Humor”, “good communication” and “relying on one’s faith” were mentioned the most. Listening, coming together during a life tragedy, knowing each other’s love language, being willing to change, being willing to sacrifice, patience were also mentioned.
All of these elements are important to a marriage and we would recommend all of them. We were, however, hoping that there would have been more of a short consensus (It certainly would have made writing the blog a lot easier!). While the lack of an easy formula seems to suggest a strong marriage involves many elements and that each couple has to find out what works individually for them, there was a common thread that ran through all of our conversations with these couples.
As we talked more to each couple, each couple commented on the importance of being committed to making their marriage work. They made a commitment to each other and to God and they decided that they would work to that end. As they talked about difficulties in their marriage, they felt that the decision they made to be committed to making their marriage work almost forced them to come up with solutions to obstacles that came their way.
Talking to veteran couples about their marriages was really interesting and helpful, but I think it is also important to ask the one who instituted marriage what He thinks. The Bible has so many verses about love, but perhaps the most famous is worth rereading on this Valentine’s Day.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record
of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always
protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails….
And now these three remain:faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
So this Valentine’s Day weekend, we encourage you to take your love out to dinner, buy your wife flowers, and a sexy negligee; perhaps even watch a romantic movie on TV to celebrate your love for each other. But know that your love will have a greater chance of going the distance if you determine or decide that you are indeed committed to each other.
